* THE END OF OUR STORY *

I don't believe in love anymore. I once was love's biggest fan. I loved love. I believed in love at first sight, true love, soul mate, all that mushy-gushy stuff the best songs and books are written about. It's what every little girl dreams about. One day my prince will come.... blah blah blah. I used to believe in love. I was in love, like I'm talking head over heals, stars in your eyes in L-O-V-E. I loved you with all my heart even though I knew you weren't perfect. You were always more sure about us. Then we broke up for stupid things I do but our hearts led us back together after three months of not ever really being broken up. I thought my world would end. But time heals all wounds right? And I were so sorry and it was the biggest mistake I've ever done to you and you took me back once again. We were happy again even something are changes and we are more to express our feeling together saying stuff that we are gonna do later. I was living every girls fantasy and I've plans for us in future. I can imagine that against the odds we were soul mates made for one another. I'm actually getting my shit together here, through the hard day at works just to find money and save it to live near you. Just want to see you every single day, just like what you wanted. I thought that's what can make you happy and us. Im trying to make you happy and change us. But you started to ignore me, saying that you're busy and stuff. I understand that you have to run your business. But I just don't get it why you still can manage to online and not replying me. It's only took like 1 minute to text back. I gave you chances without getting mad because I want to see whether I'm worth to you. But sadly, it's still same, every fucking day. I don't get any text from you when I woke up. I called but you never answer. Tell me, what should I do? Nothing I can do. Its only me who trying so hard to make it work again. You said you want to make it up to me, but all I can see is nothing. What should I be more upset about my broken dreams and broken heart, or the fact that I fell for it? Only fools fall in love, and love played me like a fiddle. So I don't believe in love anymore. Because if you don't believe in love there is nothing to cry about, and I don't have anymore tears to cry. So I gave up on love because it gave up on me. Thank you for being part of my life. Eventhough, it's only for awhile. Same goes to the broken dream, I'm sorry I can't make it. 

* Chinese New Year *

First of all, I want to wish Happy Chinese New Year to all who celebrated it. May the year of the goat, ram or sheep bring you audacious smile, an extra spring in your steps and spare change at the end of every transaction. My celebration went well, the big dinner is delicious as usual, the fireworks is awesome and the family is in the good health. Thank you God for the good people around me even sometimes they can hurt me so bad but I still appreciate for having them in my life. 

                                 

       

                 B.                   

         

                                   

                                  

                                             

                                    

            

                                   

This is part of my Chinese New Year eves. Went to shopping with my lovely niece, Shane and Mehmet. And at night, went to Yamchaa x shopping with Cynthia. 

                                    

      

   

                                    

                                    

    

                                    

I don't capture much just video of the people and the fireworks and stuff. But I couldn't upload it and I don't know why. Guess that's all for today. Hehe

I start falling in love with this poem when I read " Beastly" the other day.

                                     

                                                 Having a Coke with You - Frank O’Hara

                       is even more fun than going to San Sebastian, Irún, Hendaye, Biarritz,
                       Bayonne or being sick to my stomach on the Travesera de Gracia in Barcelona
                       partly because in your orange shirt you look like a better happier St. Sebastian
                       partly because of my love for you, partly because of your love for yoghurt,
                       partly because of the fluorescent orange tulips around the birches
                       partly because of the secrecy our smiles take on before people and statuary
                       it is hard to believe when I’m with you that there can be anything as still
                       as solemn as unpleasantly definitive as statuary when right in front of it
                       in the warm New York 4 o’clock light we are drifting back and forth
                       between each other like a tree breathing through its spectacles and 

                       the portrait show seems to have no faces in it at all, just paint

                        you suddenly wonder why in the world anyone ever did them I look

                        at you and I would rather look at you than all the portraits in the world

                        except possibly for the Polish Rider occasionally and anyway it’s in the Frick
                        which thank heavens you haven’t gone to yet so we can go together the first time
                        and the fact that you move so beautifully more or less takes care of Futurism
                        just as at home I never think of the Nude Descending a Staircase or
                        at a rehearsal a single drawing of Leonardo or Michelangelo that used to wow me
                        and what good does all the research of the Impressionists do them
                        when they never got the right person to stand near the tree when the sun sank
                        or for that matter Marino Marini when he didn’t pick the rider as carefully
                        as the horse.

                        It seems they were all cheated of some marvelous experience 

                        which is not going to go wasted on me which is why I am telling you
                        about it...